There’s an old “all’s fair in love and war” saying that seems at first to be contradictory or opposing to one another. The core meaning of this phrase is that in highly charged situations, any method of achieving your goals or aims (literal or figurative) is justifiable.
The word “civil” is typically defined as being “friendly, polite, and courteous” to others. Some once happy and loving couples first enter into “civil matrimony” before later splitting up and heading towards a civil court that is almost akin to a civil war. Both a “civil court” and “civil wars” are contradictory or opposing oxymorons in meaning just like dialectical thinking.
Political disputes, loving relationship splits, and parental alienation perceptions are all just various sides of cognitive dissonance where one is challenged to hold two opposing thoughts at the exact same time. Due to the pain of holding two opposing thoughts (Left Politician vs. Right Politician, Love vs. Fear, Mom vs. Dad), then a person is likely to change their perceptions or behaviors to reduce the pain of conflict. These changes can include walking away from others who don’t share their same viewpoints.
Disputes between two or more people tend to worsen when at least one side is too closed-minded and not empathetic enough to try to understand another person’s perspectives. A key to reducing relationship conflicts is to be more open-minded while focusing on trying to see another person’s world from their “shoes” or perspectives while, concurrently, questioning their own personal perspectives to find the best shade of truth.
“Black and White Thinking” is a description in regard to how a person can only think one of two ways [i.e., love vs. fear or love vs. hate (other side of fear)] after they emotionally split someone close to them from “all good” to “all bad” almost overnight over typically trivial or benign matters.
A person cannot hold two simultaneous emotions thoughts at the same time, especially if they are completely opposite to one another. If they are in a state of love, they cannot fear. Conversely, a fearful person is challenged to love. Loving people are likelier to be courageous because they have reduced fear levels holding them back.
A young child with two opposing parents, many times, will select just one parent to lessen their emotional pain of holding two opposing thoughts simultaneously just like how most Americans choose the side of Republican or Democrat. As such, parental alienation can be compared or equated with political alienation in that they are both conflicts that just have two options. If a person chooses one candidate (parent or politician), then they might turn off their bonding connections with the other candidate not selected by their own choice or through the manipulation by others around them.
For many adults, their perceived “parental units” are their favorite politicians. When another person says something negative about the president / parental unit, then it is becoming much more common for people to split their friendships and families over disputes about politics. This is in spite of the fact that very few people actually ever meet their favorite politician in person. A state of dysfunction often begins with a dispute over the dysfunctional state.
In addition to the old legal doctrine known as parens patriae (“parent of the country” or “state is the parent”), “family” courts worldwide follow communism and fascism strategies. Karl Marx once was claimed to have said that something to the effect of if you “control the family, you control the world.” Their strategies were so filled with programmed propaganda that it made people turn on one another (e.g., men vs. women, children vs. parents) after their cognitive dissonance was triggered instead of uniting and turning back against the controlling puppet masters.
What is the Hegelian Dialectic?
“…the State ‘has the supreme right against the individual, whose supreme duty is to be a member of the State… for the right of the world spirit is above all special privileges.'” Author/historian William Shirer, quoting Georg Hegel in his The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich book (1959, page 144).
In 1847, the London Communist League (Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels) used Hegel’s theory of the dialectic to back up their economic theory of communism. Now, in the 21st century, Hegelian-Marxist thinking affects our entire social and political structure. The Hegelian Dialectic is the framework for guiding our thoughts and actions into conflicts that lead us to a predetermined solution. If we do not understand how the Hegelian Dialectic shapes our perceptions of the world, then we do not know how we are helping to implement the vision. When we remain locked into dialectical thinking, we cannot see out of the box.” (Source: What is the Hegelian Dialectic?)
Dialectics: “The Marxian process of change through the conflict of opposing forces…” (Source: The Free Dictionary)
Communism: Communism was designed with the intent to abolish the private ownership of assets, and to transfer more control of people over to the state.
Russia, which later merged with other territories to become the U.S.S.R. or Soviet Union in 1922, during some of the strongest communist influence and control in 1917 was the very first place in the world to offer no-fault divorce options. California later became the first U.S. state to pass a no-fault divorce statute back in 1969 prior to all of the other states following them.
In spite of the cordial sounding “no-fault” (or blameless) term, it actually transfers more power over to the state to control families under the hidden guise of an Orwellian euphemism (“no-fault”) that confuses who really benefits and gains the most control. Should relationship interactions and legal doctrines in the U.S. and across the world not be based upon beliefs associated with communism? If not, then what are fairer and more equitable options?
Coincidentally, Dr. Marsha Linehan’s (one of the most famous personality disorder and suicide experts in the world) main psychological treatment methods that she created for Borderlines, Narcissists, Controllers, and others suffering from severe self and relationship-destructive tendencies is called Dialectical Behavior Theory (DBT). DBT is designed to minimize extreme “all-or-nothing” type of thinking as well as to improve one’s insight into their own perspectives and behaviors so that their self-destructive actions become even more obvious to them.
How may we all think more outside the proverbial dialectically opposed box? Answer: By questioning our own perspectives, first and foremost.