Healing with Forgiveness and Gratitude

Many relationships tend to fall apart when one or both sides don’t act with much forgiveness and gratitude towards the other person in their life. How can you forgive yourself for past mistakes if you are challenged to forgive others for either their intentional or accidental actions that caused you to experience negative reactions or emotions?

When one feels betrayed in a once loving relationship, he or she may be challenged to ever trust love again with another person partly since they think they lack the ability to truly forgive the past hurt. Yet, the power of forgiveness exists solely within them if they are willing to search inside themselves.

What we avoid in life controls us. Deal with your negative emotions, or they will control you and suppress your positive emotions and overall state of being while you become a figurative slow-walking, numb, emotionless Zombie.

Live with fear (anger, rage, guilt, shame, and envy are just other sides of fear) or live with love (forgiveness, compassion, empathy, gratitude) in your heart each day. Either way, we can only feel one of these two offsetting core emotions in any given moment as opposed to at the exact same time somewhat akin to a Love and Fear seesaw. Live with more fear and less love, or less fear and more love. The choice is yours and yours alone!

When the gratitude begins to decline, the conflicts can worsen to a point where the negative emotions far surpass the forgiveness that once was prominently placed in our heart. Do you tell your loved ones that you are grateful for their presence in your own life, and how proud that you are of them? If not, why? Are you fearful that if you boost their confidence too much, then they may abandon you?

Brilliant Forgiveness Quotes

 “Hurt people hurt people.” (please say it slowly and repeat)

Author Unknown

 Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Nelson Mandela

 “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

Oscar Wilde

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Mahatma Gandhi

“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”

Oprah Winfrey

“We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness. ”

Ellen Goodman

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Steve Maraboli

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”

Rita Mae Brown

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”

Corrie ten Boom

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim–letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.”

C.R. Strahan

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”

Alexander Pope

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”

― C. Joy Bell

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

― Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person’s throat……Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established………Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation………Forgiveness does not excuse anything………You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness……”

— William Paul Young

Forgiveness Videos (increase volume and open to full screen) 

The Power of Forgiveness (4 minutes)

Forgive – Motivational Video (4:28 minutes)

Statistically, more people are killed by people who know them personally, or are or were their primary love interests, than by strangers. The pain of relationship disputes and family conflicts can lead people to mentally “snap”, or “split” from reality and / or not think through the true consequences of their illegal and unethical actions, prior to physically assaulting or killing their former love interests. There are more murders and suicides tied to Family Court disputes than all other court cases combined.

Fortunately, most people don’t end up killing their formed loved interests. Many people do, however, internalize their negative feelings, and blame and guilt themselves to a stressful and unhappy life filled with sickness, depression, and an early death that is sometimes welcomed with or without suicide attempts. Many psychologists and other health advocates advise their patients or clients that a person who feels wronged by another should offer genuine compassion for the other party who hurt them instead of staying angry about it.

One exception to this rule about offering up compassionate and forgiving feelings for another party who we felt harmed us is for people who were sexually abused either as young and innocent children or as grown adults. Some victims of abuse or other crimes might feel empowered by never forgiving the people who violated them.

The person who committed a crime might end up in a literal prison cell while the victim of the crime who refuses to forgive them may have a figurative prison cell around their heart up until they are able to move on with their life. As such, it can be a double-edged sword, or a “Catch 22” situation in which one is “damned if they do and damned if they don’t”, by choosing to not forgive, regardless of the circumstances. Whichever option, to forgive or not to forgive, that lessens the pain for the victim may be the best choice for them.

There is great quote that sums up the projection of positive or negative thoughts, words, or actions from an individual person outward to another person, or to the entire region surrounding the same person with the good or bad thoughts, deeds, or actions. The quote is as follows: “Karma is a boomerang.” The emotions that you project outward like a boomerang can either heal or harm you in a rebounding way, for better or worse. To us, the root definition means that what we send out to the universe comes back to us eventually, whether it is good or bad based upon our personal choices.

Why do our negative thoughts and intentions for others eventually swing back around and smack us in our face instead so often? Is it your overwhelming internal anger that is pushing people away from you, including loved ones? Would it be better to attract more love like a magnet instead with positive vibrational frequencies of love?

Why not visualize and project a giant light bubble around your loved ones and former loved ones to try to heal them by way of thought frequencies, and hope that the same positive frequency projections will boomerang back to you and your close family members and friends? Focus on love and light instead of fear and darkness!

Do you feel that you live in a loving or hostile world? Either way, it is the same world, regardless of your perceptions. If we believe that we live in a loving world, then we are more likely to act with compassion, empathy, and gratitude in our heart. If we perceive that the world is evil and surrounded by darkness, then we may not be trusting of people while acting out of fear, anger, guilt, and rage at this dark world.

If you want to change your world, you must change your perceptions while continuing to live in your personal YOUniverse (or universe). There is no other person in this world who will have the exact same experiences as you, so the YOUniverse begins with you in it.

Forgiveness is more for you than for anyone else. Anger, hatred, envy, guilt, and shame are akin to internal poisons tearing away at our heart, mind, and soul until we have nothing left. It is the FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real), and broken relationship bonds, that we feed and blame ourselves for that is more likely to cause others to drive us to the hospital or cemetery more so than anything else.

Every single time that you project those negative emotions onto someone who you are absolutely convinced harmed you, those same negative emotions and frequencies may do a loop around the other person prior to bouncing back towards you (the sender of the negative frequencies). Please try to visualize an actual boomerang hitting you in the head the next time that you are fixated on primarily focusing on your negative thoughts about one or more people around you.

The power to forgive and the power to love are really on “two sides of the same coin”, or are actually the exact same thing. Compassionate people with an innate ability to forgive, both themselves and others around them, are usually very strong people. Weak people, on the other hand, have serious issues and problems with forgiving others and themselves which can lead to an inability to love one’s own self and others nearby.

“Let nothing dim the light that shines from within.”
 – Maya Angelou

If you want true revenge in life for past painful experiences, living well is your best revenge with a big smile on your face each day. The greatest form of wealth in this world is good health and happiness. Be strong, be compassionate, be passionate, be empathetic, be love, and be beloved by others. Why? You deserve the peace and tranquility, first and foremost!

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